I prefer the terms, “life affirming and life eroding” to the usual terms of positive and negative about behaviors, feelings, and actions. These latter seem to me to have judgemental and not helpful and self-critical connotations.
The core issue is about inner conflict. Is there a part of you that is trying to do something life affirming and another part of you that is offering a ‘no-go’ effort? The friction that arises is akin to driving your automobile with the gas pedal pushed down and with the brakes on. What occurs is friction and heat. The system (whether it your automobile or your child or spouse, or you colleague) will pay a price at a higher than usual rate, and will be predisposed to wearing out sooner than need be. The positive possibility of these inner world experiences is cultivation of your awareness. The discomfort that is in your body is felt and taken as a signal that there is something to work with, and that the possibility for discovery of who you are and liberating more of your lifeforce is being signalled. This is in radical opposition to the more common cultural views and values that seamlessly tell you to get rid of the symptom, don’t pay attention to it, overcome it, defeat it; anything but explore it and learn from the experience. Your awareness opens up a wider vision and space for a more generative way of being. Such a way is more free of suffering, and consequently more alive in the moment.